


Bruce Buys the Best Popcorn

by lightningmcqueendean



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bickering, Bruce gets mad, M/M, Popcorn, Shipping, They're all fanboys, comics are not accurate I'm sorry, cursing, sleepover at Bruce's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 01:32:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5028529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningmcqueendean/pseuds/lightningmcqueendean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I think that Iron Man and Captain America would make a good OTP." Bruce says, looking up from his comic. "Hell, yeah," Bucky says, shoving some popcorn into his mouth. "I think the Winter Soldier would go great with Black Widow in their absence." </p><p>"Or Hawkeye and Winter, don't you think?" Clint adds, wagging his eyebrows at Bucky. Bucky rolls his eyes and punches him in the arm."</p><p>Or<br/>Steve and Tony don't believe in each other's ships, Bucky keeps eating all of the popcorn, Clint is a shithead and Bruce just wants to read his damn comic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bruce Buys the Best Popcorn

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, I know it seems like I'm using Nat/Black Widow as a prize to be won but I do not believe that at all. I love Black Widow and think she's a wonderful person. I simply thought that the bickering over the hot character is something that my friends and I do often with our ships. Thor is also not included because he doesn't have another name and stuff but he'll be in another! Enjoy!

"That would never work!"

"How come, Mr. My-Ship-Overrides-Everyone-Else's?" 

"Okay, first of all," Tony starts, moving so his right leg was folded underneath his left, which was hanging off of Bruce's loveseat. "That is the lamest insult, what the hell, Steve? Secondly, Black Widow is a very fast-paced woman. She doesn't have patience for a guy out of his time, trying to catch up on the seventy years he'd missed."

"So, Iron Man is better for her how? In the last issue he got drunk and almost missed a mission because he was just barely sober and hanging with hookers. He wouldn't be a very devoted partner, would he? Just look what happened with Pepper in issue #45!" 

Bruce rolls his eyes, lying upside down off of the couch and flipping the page of his comic book (Avengers Issue #62). They'd been at it for an hour now. 

"I think that Iron Man and Captain America would make a good OTP." Bruce says, looking up from his comic. "Hell, yeah," Bucky says, shoving some popcorn into his mouth. "I think the Winter Soldier would go great with Black Widow in their absence." 

"Or Hawkeye and Winter, don't you think?" Clint adds, wagging his eyebrows at Bucky. Bucky rolls his eyes and punches him in the arm.

"But Iron Man has a soft side! Remember in Issue #29 how he helped Cap out of that low he'd been through? Iron Man isn't the only one with commitment problems, Stevie." Tony says, continuing the conversation as if they hadn't been rudely interrupted. 

Bucky groans loudly in exasperation, falling backwards from his cross legged position on the floor. He lands on Clint's bowl of popcorn, spilling it everywhere (Insert Bruce's frustrated sigh.). Clint, being the wonderful dick that he is, goes to punch the perpetrator of the spillage of his popcorn. Bucky rolls his eyes (He does that a lot around Clint.) and easily stops the punch, going to elbow Clint in the ribs. Clint grabs his arm and twists it back, grinning madly. Like usual, they start to wrestle and trash talk each other while Bruce is telling them to stop and Steve and Tony are practically oblivious to it all.

Steve rolls his eyes at this, nodding. "Yeah, but can't you see that Cap is the perfect partner for someone like her? He's the poster boy for America for god's sake! He'd make an ideal partner."

"Oh, but Stevie, you're forgetting one tiny detail. Cap doesn't play by the rules!" Tony says, wagging his eyebrows suggestively.

"Tony," Steve starts, taking a swig of his Dr. Pepper (Tony recoiled in disgust. It was either Coke or Pepsi in this world. What the hell, Steve?), "there's more to a relationship than having sex. And that is the opposite of Iron Man's way of seeing love."

"You mean he only sees love in love-making? That's completely untrue." Tony replies, drinking some of his appropriate Pepsi. 

Steve's jaw clenches, "Oh, really? How is that completely untrue?"

Tony smirks, "Well, being a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist can-"

"Oh my Asgardian gods, go get a fucking room you two! All puns intended!" Bucky exclaims, throwing his hands up in exasperation, dropping the game controller (He was playing The Avengers: The Trail to Asgard, respectfully.) Clint looks up at Bucky, surprised etching his figure for a few seconds before shrugging and going back to the video game, beating up Bucky's character to get his coins.

Bruce jumps at the shout, dropping the comic onto his face where it bounces and ends up on the floor, causing him to lose his page yet again. He sighs sadly, looking down at the comic with melancholy. 

"There is so much sexual tension between you two I could barely shoot through it with one of Hawkeye's explosive arrows. Would you please do Bruce, Clint and I a favor and go bang it out in the guest bedroom?"  
Bucky storms out of the room towards the kitchen (Probably to make more popcorn, Bruce always bought the really good, expensive kind.). 

Tony and Steve's faces are beet red, both blinking confusedly and avoiding the other's eyes. 

Bruce picks up his comic, flipping pages for a while before he finds his spot. Clint continues to the play the game, the sound of fists and kicks being thrown the only thing cutting the silence. 

The room stays uncomfortably quiet until Bruce explodes. 

"Goddammit, I can't even read my freaking comic in the same room as you two." He stands and slams the comic book onto the couch, walking over to the loveseat, standing over the bickering friends. 

He points an accusing finger at both of them, "You two have been arguing for 73 minutes over a damn ship! Besides, you can't even deny that there's not sexual tension between you two. You stare at each other's lips, you're always touching, you do fucking everything together, I mean, look at yourselves!" Face red, Bruce gestures to the way they're sitting.

Tony had somehow gotten in between Steve's legs, his head resting on his chest and his hands kneading Steve's thighs as Steve ran fingers through his hair. When the hell-

"You two are practically already dating and frankly, I'm getting really tired of this bullshit arguing, so please, as Bucky phrased it, 'go bang it out in the guest room'. And please, for the love of all of the Avenger's Universe, clean the sheets afterwards." Bruce shouts, stomping out of the room to the kitchen, probably to lose more of his shit on Bucky for eating all of his popcorn.

Tony looks up at Steve, both still blushing. "So..." Steve says, his hand coming up to rub his neck.  
They stay silent for a few minutes more before Clint groans, "I'm going into the kitchen," and promptly pauses the game, stands and walks out to watch Bruce chews Bucky's ass.

They look at each other for a solid five seconds before Tony rolls his eyes, turns over and mutters, "fuck it," grabbing Steve's head in his hands and kissing him hard and oh god Steve's lips are really soft and he's kissing back yes.

Steve goes right on forward and grabs Tony's ass, pulling him up farther so their heads are level. 

They're still making out (Really hard and holy hell it's awesome.) when Bruce comes back in and starts screaming at them to get into the damn guest room you fucking stupidasses.

Tony laughs and grabs Steve's hand, pulling him towards the guest room and yelping when Steve grabs his ass again on the way there. They barely hear Clint and Bucky's wolf whistles from the kitchen doorway and Bruce's angry grumbles from the couch as he shoves popcorn into his frowning mouth.


End file.
